The Naked Passion Dance was what I was thinking about when I mentioned the other day about my “first time with public nudity” – as distinct from just being naked outdoors, but without letting anyone see me.
In thinking about when that was I realized that it was at a gay dance event advertised as a “Naked Passion Dance.” Being new to the gay community – having only told a few people that I was gay, it boggled my mind that such an event could happen. I had no way of knowing a that time, that this was the dawning of a golden age of public nudity in Toronto.
I got my ticket and then I got all excited about the event. By the time the day arrived, I was absolutely terrified! Scared to death … of what? you might ask. I was scared of getting an erection in public. What to do? So I solved the problem by masturbating before I left the house. I arrived at the venue feeling very un-sexy, as you might guess.
The event began in a large ballroom. The event leader, a slim, beautiful, red-headed man called us all together. We were all fully dressed at this point. I think we did some greeting exercises, which always make me feel a bit awkward, although I have to admit I go get relaxed a bit as I get to perceive all the strangers around me as actual human beings, just like me!
Then he told us to take an item of clothing off. This struck me as funny, and helped relax me more. We were going to do a group strip-tease. I played safe and took off my shirt. The guy next to me took off his pants. How brave! Over the next few minutes, we gradually all got stark-bollock-naked. It was a lot of fun.
This was a long time ago, and I don’t really remember all the details, but we did some exercises, pretending to be birds or angels with wings, or something and we leaped and covorted all over the place. During these moments of naked abandon, I noticed two really gorgeous guys playing at sword-fighting with their granite-hard cocks! Suddenly I wished I had not masturbated! My cock was presently not only pitifully flaccid, but withered and utterly insignificant.
Music began and people began to dance. This was early in my dancing career – I was new to being gay, remember, and I had yet to hone my gay rhythm thingy. But I got into it as best I could.
The feeling of dancing around the room, totally naked in company with a hundred or so other naked men, was so amazing, I couldn’t believe it.
There were refreshments, food and drink (no alcohol). We danced the rest of the evening, with great music. At the close of the evening, we were given candles, and we spiraled slowly into the centre. The lights were dimmed so we all appeared shadowy in the flickering candle light. We formed into a great circle and sat with the candles in front of us. We had to think about people we’d lost. That’s when I realized I was having my very first contact with the great gay community that had suffered so terribly with the Aids epidemic. I was over 50 years old, but had never until this moment really thought about this.
I didn’t relate as for my entire life to this point I had assumed I was straight and the “gay disease” was nothing to do with me. This was a profound spiritual moment for me. I sat there and wept. We blew out our candles one by one. I did in fact have one person to think about at this moment. My high school best friend was killed by a drunk driver when we were both 21. No, we didn’t ever fool around together, though god knows I wanted to – now I’ll never know if it could ever have been. I blew out my candle and said, “Goodnight Rod,” for ever.